2 days of straight suck
Today is my birthday. I'm 29 years old. I'm not happy about it.
I stopped enjoying birthdays after my 25th. I recall the realization on my 26th birthday that in the same amount of time that it took me to finish college I would be thirty. When looking back the college years seem to have flown by in a blur. I knew that the next 4 years would be no different and I began to wonder where I would be and how I would feel about my life. Well, in one year from now I will be thirty years old. The idea that a year from now I could be sitting in this cube typing a blog post to keep from putting my headset on makes me sick to my stomach. The thought of living, alone, in a one bedroom apartment at thirty years old causes me to expel a deep sigh. The worst part of it is I have no plan. No direction. Sometimes I think I have no plan because without a goal I cannot fail. I don't know. I try not to get too Freudian.
Admittedly, my melancholy mood is exacerbated by the fact that my birthday is immediately followed by Valentines Day. I've said on more than one occasion that this should be 48 straight hours of lovin' for me, but with two exceptions, it never is. So, tonight I will sit in front of the TV with my buddy Johnny Walker and think about what I need to do so that I don't feel this way next year.
I stopped enjoying birthdays after my 25th. I recall the realization on my 26th birthday that in the same amount of time that it took me to finish college I would be thirty. When looking back the college years seem to have flown by in a blur. I knew that the next 4 years would be no different and I began to wonder where I would be and how I would feel about my life. Well, in one year from now I will be thirty years old. The idea that a year from now I could be sitting in this cube typing a blog post to keep from putting my headset on makes me sick to my stomach. The thought of living, alone, in a one bedroom apartment at thirty years old causes me to expel a deep sigh. The worst part of it is I have no plan. No direction. Sometimes I think I have no plan because without a goal I cannot fail. I don't know. I try not to get too Freudian.
Admittedly, my melancholy mood is exacerbated by the fact that my birthday is immediately followed by Valentines Day. I've said on more than one occasion that this should be 48 straight hours of lovin' for me, but with two exceptions, it never is. So, tonight I will sit in front of the TV with my buddy Johnny Walker and think about what I need to do so that I don't feel this way next year.
posted by Pudge | 6:47 AM
4 Comments:
Whenever I get down about my stage in life, I think of Ellen Dow. She was born in 1918. Do you think in 1948, when she turned 30, she dreamed she would someday be the "Rappin' Granny"? Hell, it was another 37 years before she got her first acting gig. Now her resume reads like a who's who of primetime television (from Mr. Belvedere to American Dad). This could happen to you, Pudge. You may someday be a national treasure by adopting a fish-out-of-water schtick to some musical style nobody's conceived of yet.
Ha ha! True, true, 49words. I like the spin you put on Pudge's post (btw, I have a hard time calling you Pudge, Pudge.)
I hear you on all of this. Except I don't have the double whammy of birthday and vday all together.
I will be alone on Vday, too. You're not alone. It's ok. At least we don't live in a trailor park with 2 snot-nosed kids or out of wedlock with kids, etc...It could always be worse.
That being said, GET OUT OF YOUR CURRENT JOB. You need a fresh start. I think once you do that, you'll have the motivation to carry on with other things. That place will suck the life out of you if you let it. Don't. You're too good for that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks guys.
49words, I admit you had me on that one. I had to IMDB her. How could I for get Road Trip's Grandma Manilow, "Jack, your boner!"
Ambs, Yes, it could always be worse. I'm an institutional man now. I'll never make it on the outside.
Miserable, Sandbar?
I should also say that I have had a severe sinus infection for a solid week now and I tend to get a little cranky when I am deprived of oxygen.
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