Alright already!

I haven't posted in awhile so tonight I'm sitting in the soft glow of the computer screen with my friends Glenlivet and Sleepinal. If I doze off at the keyboard I apologize.

The lack of posting isn't because I haven't had anything to write about. To the contrary, since my last post I received and accepted a job offer at the CDS company. I start on April 3rd. I had a nice send off happy hour that was well attended by my friends and now former coworkers. I also missed another opportunity to ask out Coach Monica after my niece's Saturday morning basketball game.

editor's note: My 7 year old niece had 3 baskets and a rebound. I know she says she's going to Harvard, but maybe she might consider Stanford; better basketball program.

The reason that I haven't posted is because I have been a little gun shy about what I write. I broke the first rule of Blog Club which is of course "You don't talk about Blog Club". A large number of my friends have read my blog at one time or another. That's ok with me. I like to entertain. However, I also write about my feelings and frustrations on this site. This seems to provide fodder for a lot of jokes at my expense. Look, I can take a joke. I make jokes about my friends more or less constantly. There are running themes. Buds has excessive body hair. Skins is Asian. Monthly has gigantic ears. C-Note is short. Albie has never bought anything that wasn't on sale. That's all fine. These are, with the exception of Albie's thriftiness, physical characteristics that are out of their control. Certain things are off limits. I don't attack people's character. I don't take shots at guys' girlfriends, wives, or kids. And I don't poke fun at any unfortunate circumstances of my buddy's lives.

Here is the thing. If you want to make fun of me for having a blog; fine. That's fair game. If you are emailing links to a post wherein I admit being lonely with the subject line "Why Pudge can't get laid." I have a problem with that. If there is an email string among 3 to 4 people discussing how pathetic I am then you hound me to write more so that you can continue to ridicule me; that rubs me the wrong way. I just ask that you keep the gloves up; that's all.

editor's note: I'm refilling my scotch and hopping up on my soap box.

Not too long ago Blondie and Ambs77 said that I have a tendency to make blunt, rude retorts. I have two feelings about this. First, if I am commenting on your clothes, something you said, or the like I expect you to have a sense of humor about it and be able to take a joke. It's good natured. It may also be my way of protecting myself. I may be letting you know that I'm not really cool with what you said without being confrontational. Consider it a warning shot across your bow.

Here is a fundamental truth about me. I feel that I am loved by many but respected by few. One of the few things that I strongly believe in is not making excuses. Therefore I can and will find fault with myself everytime something goes awry in my life. I am quick to point out my own faults and own up to my mistakes; of which I make many (On a related note I'm pretty sure that I have talked a few interested ladies out of dating me). This often manifests itself in the form of self-effacing humor. Sometimes I feel like people think that because of this I am not a prideful man. That is not the case.

Here's three that recently bugged me...

Blondie sent out an email inviting our coworkers to join us at my farewell happy hour. She included pictures and quotes from Office Space comparing me to Peter Gibbons. The invite said "Let's all go raise a glass to someone who worked just hard enough not to get fired." I wasn't mad at Blondie. There was no malice intended and I've made similar jokes about myself. I don't like the idea that it is a commonly held belief that I am lazy and bad at my job. The truth is that I felt that management repeatedly made promises to me that weren't kept. I got bitter and stopped doing anything extra to advance. I didn't want to be Peter Gibbons. That's why I left.

At my farewell happy hour PZ was telling Albie about how I fucked up our hotel reservations in Mexico. That's cool. I deserve to take some shit for that one. Albie's response got under my skin though. "You should know better. You take Pudge along for laughs, but you don't give him any responsibility." That's the kind of thing that will ellicite a harsh retort.

scotch refill...

I hate the nickname Serial Killer. One of my coworkers gave me this one not long after I started working there and it stuck. I happen to be 6'3" and 240 pounds with a large forehead and a "peircing" gaze. I have two problems with this. First, I consider myself to be an approachable, good natured, lovable guy yet I get the impression that some people are actually intimidated by me. I've never committed an act of violence against another person in my life but I can't help but wonder if two of my superiors didn't make sure they were out of the office on my last day.

That's all I've got to say about that. If I mentioned you in this don't sweat it. I won't kill you.