Can't let Erotica be the last thing I post.
Tonight is my Sister's 10th wedding anniversary. Being the great guy that I am, I offered to baby sit my niece and nephew so that she and her husband could go out for dinner and excessive drinking (My sister and I are the only drinkers in my family, I've always found this strange.)
The children are in bed. Both kids, 5 and 7, asked me to leave their bedroom doors open. This means I can't turn on the TV. Sucks for me, but it means I am posting for the first time in 2 months.
Quick overview...
May - Worked really hard at new job. I was focused to the point of being anti-social, a first for me. After two months a review of my pipeline lead my boss to conclude that it would not be possible for me to meet my quota any time in the near future. I was pink slipped just ahead of the press release that the company had acquired $150 million in funding and would be going public within a year. The 5000 shares of stock I was promised at signing would not be part of my severence. There was in fact no severence.
June - I went into a funk. I basically shut down. Outside of a weekly softball game I only came out of my apartment to hit a drive through and return home. Some days I didn't shower. I watched TV each night into the AM (Cartoon Network has Family Guy reruns on at 3:30AM.)
I had a number of friends and family offer opinions as to what I should do and ideas for jobs I should seek. Most seemed surprised when I told them that I'm not looking for a new job yet.
An interesting parrallel has surfaced in my life between jobs and relationships with women. Neither have ever turned out well. I currently question my abilty to perform adequately in either and I'm not in a hurry to begin anew with either while my head is as fucked up as it is now.
I haven't posted for a long time because I knew that the depression would be apparent and I didn't like the idea of posting my inner shit storm on the internet. I'm not sure why I'm doing it now. I guess because I don't need the disappointment of knowing I let my blog die on top of everything else.
The children are in bed. Both kids, 5 and 7, asked me to leave their bedroom doors open. This means I can't turn on the TV. Sucks for me, but it means I am posting for the first time in 2 months.
Quick overview...
May - Worked really hard at new job. I was focused to the point of being anti-social, a first for me. After two months a review of my pipeline lead my boss to conclude that it would not be possible for me to meet my quota any time in the near future. I was pink slipped just ahead of the press release that the company had acquired $150 million in funding and would be going public within a year. The 5000 shares of stock I was promised at signing would not be part of my severence. There was in fact no severence.
June - I went into a funk. I basically shut down. Outside of a weekly softball game I only came out of my apartment to hit a drive through and return home. Some days I didn't shower. I watched TV each night into the AM (Cartoon Network has Family Guy reruns on at 3:30AM.)
I had a number of friends and family offer opinions as to what I should do and ideas for jobs I should seek. Most seemed surprised when I told them that I'm not looking for a new job yet.
An interesting parrallel has surfaced in my life between jobs and relationships with women. Neither have ever turned out well. I currently question my abilty to perform adequately in either and I'm not in a hurry to begin anew with either while my head is as fucked up as it is now.
I haven't posted for a long time because I knew that the depression would be apparent and I didn't like the idea of posting my inner shit storm on the internet. I'm not sure why I'm doing it now. I guess because I don't need the disappointment of knowing I let my blog die on top of everything else.
posted by Pudge | 10:07 PM
2 Comments:
Keep your head up pal! You'll be just fine. You're so money and you don't even know it!!
i'm sorry, n. i was in a month-long funk, too. i'm right there with you.
things will turn around, but it may take more work that you would ideally like to commit?
get yourself out there. staying holed up, while therapeutic for a little bit, will only send you deeper into the bummed out mode you're in.
you're very intelligent, attractive and really are a great person. i just don't think you've found your "passion" yet.
do some soul searching, keep us posted (no more blogging hiatus') and keep your chin up. i hope that doesn't sound too sappy. i meant it all from the bottom of my freezing heart. ;-)
Post a Comment
<< Home